Sometimes I hold my breath in the rain because I forget, you can only drowned If it surrounds you
thats the problem it envelops me
like a deep pit
of a half rotten peach The certainty
Of misery
It’s unavoidable
Although I struggle with hitting my marks. Actings always been a part of what makes sense Take method with me when I’m gone envelop every fleeting thought
and hold onto it
like a snow globe .
I’m sorry I’m sorry? I’m sorry?
Where you talking? I’m not trying to be inattentive I’m not trying to be rude
I just keep filling up the snow globe
Forgive me please, if I’m scattered out in sorts, for every woman
that I’ve ever met
I’ve become enriched
entranced
and slightly obsessed
I blame it on the complexities
or maybe it’s just their natural amenities like the way your young beauty
caught my wandering eyes
by surprise
And every man
that’s ever walked up
I’ve felt intimidated
angry
or exposed
tell me what threat do you impose
Are my actions too extreme?
Am I being to cautious?
Do I have a reason for being this thoughtless
Every interaction is lost on me There’s nothing to mend it’s just nervous sleep As I wait Anxiously
for the torture to ensue
it’s nothing new
When you’re miserable, I only exist as a hopeful.
In muted colors things are contrived I try my best to channel whats inside
Cling for the moment when you’re truly alright Varnish the mask
made from little brass pieces
Don’t think too much
let it flow naturally
Gently step out in to the hall
try to prepare yourself
for that empty phone call
Every interaction is lost on me
There’s nothing to mend it’s just nervous sleep
As I wait Anxiously
for the torture to ensue
it’s nothing new
If i wasn’t trying so hard before
Ignoring the questions the message scorned
the rest is up to you I’ve held on to these feelings far too long
(It is haunting Will you stay with me? I just need some better company) (It is haunting Will you stay with me? I just need some better company)
The dial tone is your lullaby
It swells and shakes the fever you can’t break
I live in space that are extremely hard to reach
between being ecstatic just to take another breath
and being laced in pure misery
it transcends past who I want to reach
and what I’m trying to achieve
I’m met with my own idiosyncrasies
becoming un-stitched at the seams
until I’m a lesser form
Like a monarch butterfly
Reverting back to the moments
that have molded these last few years
Is it clear that I haven’t shaped them?
Am I at fault ?
Am I the Martyr?