1. |
This Empty House
02:44
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This empty house flooding with self doubt
This buzzing mind, can’t seem to unwind.
What I’d hope that I’d really be
That sparkle in your eyes
The summer dress you wore in spring
But mother winter just won’t leave
I reprise my role
As the canary at your window seal
We’ll cry out of tune
You’ll lock me away
The melody I’ll sing
For days and days
La da da la da da la da da da
La da da la da da la da da da
La da da la da da la da da da
La da da la da da la da da da
I can not sleep
Without you I can’t breathe
You’ll say “Go back to bed.. Try not to dream”
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2. |
Sleeping Off the Storm
03:24
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Eating crow everyday. I’m so very afraid.
I can’t recall a more fragile moment in my life
As I try to reverse
this harried conclusion
My skills are seemingly obsolete
as I grow weary with each day we meet
Like the forgotten moon
or a famished flower
I wither and worry away.
Like the forgotten moon
or a famished flower
I wither and worry away.
Yet there you sit, softly sleeping off the storm
In the most beautiful way
I envy you.
The tears and terrors you lack
The sleepless nights spent dwelling on the past
Seem to be the only things holding me back.
the wind wants to dance
But the cadence won’t show
and the melancholy sound
is a ringing in my ear
I can’t let anything go
As tress are ripped from the earth,
your conscience waits for the sound
of those yellow birds
The glow of sunlight
the destruction never occurred.
Yet here we are
Yet here we are
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3. |
Colossal
03:43
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Time Spent on time spent wasting
worthless thoughts on so close I can taste it
burnt out
on high hopes and pipe dreams
it hurts too much to let this go
It hurts too much to let go
I’ll never let this go
I can’t take
Living at the glacial pace
My porcelain picture
still hangs upon the wall
with a chisel in one and
a paintbrush in the other
What will I become?
What will come of us
And i wither
and I worry
and day by day
I reflet
Is it worth
the pain I’ve spared
We are colossal
We are colossal
We are colossal in our eyes
although never meant to shine
We are colossal in our eyes
although never meant to shine
Time Spent on time spent wasting
worthless thoughts on so close I can taste it
But I’ll never let this go
Latched onto bleeding hearts and broken homes
I cling onto vacant stares and let down shoulders
When will our final hours
Mean enough
Mean enough
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4. |
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I struggle to find the questions that set me apart
knowledge isn’t what’s lacking
it’s what’s beating in my heart
I’ve crawled too far away.
like a child lost in the dark.
They’ve left me stranded
claimed hide and seek from the start
We both have changed
I just thought that maybe things could have stayed the same
You had to cure
I had to act
Now I find myself sticking to the script
While you were written out
Did you get paid to walk away?
Did you find a better part to play?
When you took your final bow
I would have begged for you to stay
Did they throw roses?
Did they cheer out your name?
Do you think of me sometimes?
The fool stuck on the stage.
I wonder if I will improve?
Like maybe my mind will start to shift in a line,
or a poem.
Write, revise, relive, remember
Live by the feelings of last December
Worry, relief, rest, render
Dead from the moment you first considered
If I could play it back more clearly this time
Replace the moments where the needle sticks,
Count these memories; they can’t be fixed.
I can’t be
I can't be fixed
Let me be driven by the past haunting the notions in my head.
I am defined by true romance found in the poetry I’ve read.
Though it’s patience and understanding in this world that I seek,
I will be passionate and truthful with every word I speak.
So you can try to tear me down with your lies and remarks.
I’ve acted out my own life playing every part.
Over in my head I will relive again.
Trying to highlight the mistakes from beginning to end.
Write, revise, relive, remember
Live by the feelings of last December
Worry, relief, rest, render
Dead from the moment you first considered
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5. |
Nights Like These
04:45
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You saved your liquid courage for me
on countless nights just like these
Your stride is slow yet
words are sharp
and they cut
and I wait
for you to let me in
I’d sleep on on the porch if you won’t let me in
When we cut the line
The backdrop falls
My mind is open for display
I can’t help but feel this
In this moment, sitting on the river bank
Like little kids staring up at the moon
Joy and amazement, pure curiosity
yet dreading having to go home soon
I can’t make myself believe
all the damage isn’t captured by anyone but me
But hope is in this personal hell
The knotted ring, my favorite band
and the secrets we tell
I want to shout so blatantly past the stars and through the sky
I’ll love you sweetly
from this day forth
dear you are all I need
I’ll patiently wait
with each moment passing
letting our hearts lead
With you at my side I can dream at night
With you at my side I can dream at night
Where the sheep no longer ask to be counted or worn,
where old men find comfort in their end
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6. |
Evelyn McHale
06:31
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Standing on a wire as my mother once did
Our resemblance; covered by innocence
The necklace she used to wear
. Oh, I’d watch her,
How for hours I’d stare
.
She'd be putting on her make up,
A little bit of rouge
She’d say, “Show the world what you can be”
I needed to be beauty
, I wanted to be a ballerina
Trying desperately to find out what balance really is
The train doors open as I briskly walk out into the cold
Hands Sway at my side
as people pass me by
I wonder what they'd say if they knew
Greetings from New York when I was six years old
Seeing that old jewelry store
My father took me to as a little girl
He spent two summers saving for the day they wed
The pearls as white as his face
the day she left
only a note behind
That same necklace now feels like lead
weighing me down and out
Buy a ticket
to the observation deck
recount the seconds
it took to write whatever’s left
of me this time
why do we feel the need to say goodbye?
And in that mirror
I see my mothers face
I wonder who else
that I’ve made suffer like this
is it my father?
perhaps my fiancé
I wonder if the pain will slip away
How could you leave us?
Why should I live this way?
Silent and proper
I won’t harm anyone.
Wet metal, cold to the touch
My purpose lost, Am I capable of love?
You broke our family
Laid to bed in lust
This cycle ends with me
It’s all I have
All I’ve ever known
please don’t let them see
All I can give is to take
To anyone who will care, I plead, don’t let them see me
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7. |
Time
01:34
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Is this really it
Am I forgetting all that's lost in the end
And if I
refuse to grow up
will I ever truly bloom again?
Time is my mistress
as far as I can tell
She has given me
far too long to dwell
I'm homesick nearly everyday
I think that's why I'm afraid
I'm homesick nearly everyday
I guess that's why I'm ashamed
I think it's time for a change
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8. |
I Begin a Pilgrimage
03:38
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Can we forget about the last eight months and
Start over, Like we always have wanted?
is this a passing phase
or a dreamlike state
Where I still feel like I don’t belong here
And I know you have those hurtful answers
“Kid you need some thicker skin before you
break”
The winter solstice is taking it's effect again, and
I am left with empty remorse among other things
as I try to find a map to articulate how far off course
I really am.
The windstorm is begging to move forward whilst I cling
to ideas abandoned yet not forgotten,
Maybe I think too much
Maybe I should start acting out
On my own
I’ve lost It all
nothing has changed
I still want more from life
Is that selfish of me
To find out what I have done
and to start acting like we were made for this
lets drift far away to an unfamiliar place
where dreams aren’t only visible when we sleep
I’ll move on in spite of myself
With this life, I choose to be content in my skin
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9. |
Prelude To a New Dream
06:30
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I need this
Like a sale at a funeral home
a legacy diminished to a date on a marble stone
where a star lilly lies at an empty space
waiting for someone to take its place
I don’t have the lungs to speak this properly
but I hope a whisper will do
I had the best of intentions
surrounding an overflowing void
I pour in and in
until nothing is left
the books almost finished
and yet
Self regard has been destroyed
Hurting to share with faceless friends
My longing for perfection it never ends
but back to the point
what’s my point?
Why bother?
back to my point
what's the point?
I’d hoped writing this letter
would help make sense of my questions
An outline of existence
A blueprint for a better tomorrow
Some call it brash
but honest I’m being sincere
Help reach a global headspace
for things to become clear
back on the path
To find the meaning in my life
an escape from the questions
To put me back on the path
To find the meaning in my life
an escape fro the questions
To put me back on the path
To find the meaning in my life
an escape fro the questions
Time to pick myself up
off this corporate depression
hurting to share with faceless friends
with you at my side
With you at my side
I can dream at night
In time
The Sun will rise
With you at my side
With you at my side
I can dream at night
The sun will rise
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